pizza_and_ranchSource: Dallas Observer

People need to stop eating pizza with ranch dressing.

No one really knows how this practice started. The only connection pizza and ranch dressing have naturally is through buffalo wings and garden salads. Most pizzerias sell both these items and usually include ranch dressing as a condiment.

I’m assuming people begin pouring ranch dressing on their pizza when they find themselves with leftover ranch from their buffalo wings and try it as a joke, at first.

WwChickenRanchPizzaSource: From Val's Kitchen

Maybe Domino’s decided to change their pizza recipe in 2009 when they noticed people were nuking it with ranch.

I think that people who like to dip their pizza in ranch are the same people that would put a giant bumper sticker on the back of a brand new luxury sports car.

Is this some sort of “Fight Club” style thing I don’t know about?

I’m starting to believe this might be the biggest conspiracy in the history of pizza’s existence. Some get Alex Jones on this.

I find it absolutely laughable that people would spend a considerable amount of money on pizza and then cover up the flavor of the gooey cheese, the chewy crust, the flavorful sauce and the yummy toppings with a 50 cent package of ranch dressing.

As a desperately single guy, I don’t have many prerequisites for a potential relationship partner. But if I found out she liked dipping her pizza in ranch dressing…adios. 

cane-rosso-pizza-ranch-dressing-dallas-txSource: Eater

I’m happy that a pizzeria in Dallas charges customers $1,000 for a side of Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing. This is progress as its finest.

Any presidential candidate that makes a promise to ban all ranch dressing from pizza would win my vote. Let’s “Make America Great Again” by ending the use of ranch dressing on pizza.

What do you think?

Originally posted 2016-04-12 21:58:17.

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