Probably not the “Happiest Place On Earth” for single people. 

1. The Arches on Storybookland at Night

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I know what you’re thinking — this kiddie ride?! But trust me, riding through the canal with bae as “A Whole New World” plays is about as romantic as it gets. Avoid it at all costs.

2. The Mark Twain Steamboat

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I have a lot of love for the Mark Twain steamboat and a sunset ride on it sets a great atmosphere for love.

And a lot of bitterness when see those couples wear matching Mickey and Minnie shirts. Like seriously…stop it you guys. 

3. The Main Street Train Station

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You can’t beat sitting on a bench, looking at the charming lights of Main Street with the castle in the background. To top it off, you can see all the couples walking down Main Street HOLDING HANDS. Disgusting.

4. Buena Vista Circle in California Adventure

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Although this is right in the center of California Adventure, it’s a nice place to stop and sit for a while as you enjoy the 1940’s scenery. The ritzy Carthay Circle will remind you of how poor and alone you are.

Then, as you sit there all alone, you think about the guy you’ve been crushing on for the past six months, but have been way too afraid to admit your true feelings for. About how beautiful he is. About how smart he is. About how perfect that moment would be with him.

You go on your phone and look through his Facebook photos.

Like all of them.

“Maybe he’ll ask me out one day?”

“Nah, he’s so not into me.”

But then you take a leap of faith and send him a selfie on Snapchat. Maybe this will convince him that you’re the one.

You check back a minute later and see that he opened it. No reply.

You go to the “Story” feed and see a new story was posted. It’s your crush. You open it up.

He’s at Disneyland…with another girl.

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5. The Lighting Ceremony at Cars Land

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When the lights come on at 7:00PM and the neon atmosphere of Cars Land springs to life, “Sh’Boom (Life Could Be a Dream)” plays across the area. The couples, mostly teenagers of the Snapchat generation or Japanese tourists, will gaze into each other’s faces so lovingly you’ll want to puke.

6. Snow White’s Grotto

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The wishing well just to the right of Sleeping Beauty’s castle – what more could you ask for? If you weren’t feeling alone before, you definitely are now.

7. Royal Street in New Orleans Square

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Catch a couple rolling in dough strolling through the lively shops after a meal at the fancy, and delicious, Blue Bayou restaurant. Probably arm-in-arm. How dare they.

Originally posted 2016-03-20 21:40:13.

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